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Community as Family
There are many definitions of a family - some legal, some
psychological. For our purposes here, the definition of family is a group of individuals who live together and
look to each other for the nourishment and support they need to thrive. Blood relations do not always make a family
(as experienced often by abused children), nor do unrelated people living together necessarily constitute a family
(as with roommates). Family is a special tie that in some form necessitates a voluntary connection with others.
By this definition, some of the strongest families can be
"intentional" families or communities. These are individuals who do not have to be connected, but have
chosen to be in a 'community.' Blood ties, which undeniably involve a significant lifelong bond, don't always exist
in communities. However, individuals with a sincere interest in involvement can create profoundly effective families.
Jasper Mountain Center is the home of a community, an intentional
family. This family was originally conceived through experiments in the formation of the traditional extended family
unit, with individuals who chose to be involved. It is this community that searched for five years and finally
founded the present Center on a mountain, fifteen miles southeast of Eugene, Oregon. Since that time, many others
have joined in the work and the spirit of this healing family atmosphere.
Family as a Vehicle for Growth
For nearly everyone, the principal shaper of our individual
personalities is our family, family of origin and also family of circumstance. This family teaches us that the
world either responds to our needs or doesn't, and imparts in us self-worth or self-doubt. The family shapes values
and behavior patterns, some of which will be of help, others a hindrance. All in all, there is no social unit in
any culture that comes close to the family in its role of socialization and shaping of individuals. This fact has
never been more fully comprehended than now. Whenever we experience a breakdown in our culture, discussions on
the family unit arise, and rightly so. Unfortunately, we are often quicker and more capable of fixing a problem
than preventing one. Family intervention (therapy) has become an in-depth science, yet family enrichment remains
in conceptual infancy.
Self-Understanding is the Key
One mistake of the past has been the belief that healthy
people somehow just happen. We now know that all important aspects of life need attention and instruction. Healthy
human beings don't just grow healthy, they are shaped. We must learn to walk, to care properly for ourselves, to
explore the world, to love and to find ourselves. Therefore, a family must have a clear goal in mind in the formation
of its members.
Seven Practice Principles:
1. The family is the single most important influence
in the shaping of a healthy or dysfunctional person.
In 1977, a milestone review of all available research pertaining
to human "casualties" (someone society would regard as a failure) was conducted in Washington, DC. The
principal investigator, Dr. Steven Glenn, used five hundred research works to identify themes of what produced
successful human beings and what produced the casualties. Although the results were impressive and merit a close
look, only one factor will be mentioned here. The last fifty years have seen a monumental shift in the American
lifestyle. The once predominate agrarian, rural-based lifestyle has changed to a predominantly urban existence.
Rural ties, known for extended families with family roots and neighborly cooperation, have given way to city life,
a breakdown in family stability and society on the move. The social institution most affected has been the family
and a great deal of the effect has been debilitating.
The role of children in our society has changed drastically.
On the family farm, it took everyone to make it work. Children were key elements and assumed important and very
responsible duties. In the city, life is different and with the new streamlined lifestyle the role of children
has gone from responsible participants to marginally involved observers. Where the center of activity was once
the family, it is now more likely to be the school. In urban society, the underlying tone for children is to keep
them together, keep them busy and keep them out of trouble. This shift produced new problems like the pressure
of peer groups, increasing juvenile delinquency, youth alienation, and children giving up, turning to drug abuse
or suicide. Children must have a place in society and, therefore, in the family. They must know their role is real
and vital to the success of the family. On a farm this comes much more naturally than in cities.
2. Young abused children heal optimally in a supportive
treatment family context rather than in an institution.
If the family is so critical, what can be said about the
future chance of success for children from ineffectual or even highly destructive family units? If our personality
disposition either positive or antagonistic toward life is formed by age one, can negative dispositions be changed?
At Jasper Mountain Center, we believe they can.
3. For abused children, early family deficiencies can
be rehabilitated under the right conditions, the younger the child the better.
We all learn by behavioral reinforcements. If our environment
reinforces distance, we increase distancing behaviors; if it reinforces closeness, then we open ourselves more
to others. It may be a gradual change, but it will happen.
4. At an early age, human beings develop a fundamental
disposition to the world; positive and trusting toward responsive caregivers or anxious and fearful toward unresponsive
caregivers.
The family environment at Jasper Mountain is prepared for
residents from any kind of past, including ineffective and even the most destructive of family situations. From
the first day, the past is certainly a reality, but it is in the past, not the present.
5. A healthy environment breeds healthy interactions
from healthy individuals.
Family inclusion is immediate on all levels, without expecting
an immediate response from the child. The most negative attitudes and behaviors of a child are never unchangeable,
some just take longer than others.
6. Functioning fully is not a natural state of human
beings; it must be taught and mastered.
The single most important goal at Jasper Mountain is self-understanding.
This one aspect of a person makes the difference between a successful human being and one who continually looks
everywhere but never finds the answer to life. "Who," "what," "where" and "why
am I" are the locks, and self-understanding the key. Physical health, maturity, sense of humor, talent, ambition,
intelligence, creativity and a positive outlook on life are all tremendous assets to a person, but any or all of
these are not sufficient without going within oneself for the answer to life.
7. The most fundamental requirement of the whole person
is self-understanding.
At Jasper Mountain success is not simply inclusion, assisting
academic improvement, extinguishing negative behaviors, improving attitudes and offering and receiving loving contact.
If these were success indicators, then we would produce individuals to whom success would be something external
rather that an internal state of being. If success remains exterior, then it will always be illusive. There will
always be more money to make, more accomplishments to achieve, more knowledge to obtain. Spiritual masters of thousands
of years have taught: "Know yourself and know life, understand yourself and understand the universe."
Mastering anything is a long journey of daily practice, as is mastering oneself.
Confronted with a destructive, self-abusive or belligerent
child, teaching self-understanding would seem a long arduous road. Nevertheless, all our work at JMC is directed
toward this goal.
Learning Self-Understanding
Learning Self-Understanding: How do we learn who
we are and what life is about? Ideally, this can be viewed as a progression beginning in the microcosm of a family
and gradually expanding the perimeters.
Family: It is in our family we first sense and feel.
Our world consists of things and people no broader than the family. The healthy family provides security, nourishment,
inclusion and stability. As we begin to sense self, the family provides the playing field for self/others, me/you,
yours/mine and firm and loving limit setting.
School: Well into the development of self comes the
first independent move to test "you" with a group of strangers who don't necessarily give you significance
because you happen to exist. You must relate with some level of success to be accepted. You learn about "you"
through participation, cooperation and competition with these other "selves." The family and school provide
the context for self-learning until the next level.
The Significant Other: What starts as first grade
goose bumps when 'she' or 'he' sits by you at lunch alters surprisingly little through the first dance, going steady
and lifetime partnership. The game plan is to solidify this self into a saleable package and then to test the market.
The bumps and bruises of the game begin molding fine points of this self like few other experiences until now.
This perimeter of the playing field is as far as many people go. There are friends and career, but these are extensions
of testing the self-much as in school. There is another level to the full sense of self-understanding.
Connection to Humankind and Nature: The discovery
of this level has been described in many ways: peak experience, rebirth, spiritual conversion and others. They
all refer to the discovery of someone within us who is larger than the self we have worked so long and hard to
define and separate (the figure from the ground). When it is clear there is no real limit to the self, the perimeter
is vastly expanded. It is in this area of discovery that real personal power is realized, real freedom perceived.
Wisdom can be gained and self-understanding, which until now was an elusive concept, becomes clear. Within this
expanded playing field, answers to the question "who", "what", "where" and "why"
become very different than before. A very important aspect of this expanded view of self is the potential shattering
of past and present debilitating experiences, attitudes and behaviors. The larger self turns out to be so much
more than the self we have been marketing, possibly for years, that our ability to alter our limits is greatly
increased.
At this point, the question could be raised; "But what
about children with possible organic problems, or low intelligence quotients coming form abusive pasts? Can they
be taught to experience something as lofty as self-understanding?" To this we say: "Yes, definitely yes!"
General Approaches
We must all begin where we are. Every resident at
Jasper Mountain Center comes from a unique and different circumstance. Opportunities are available to enter into
the discovery of self, at whatever level possible. Again, the family is the initial context of all activities and
opportunities. Although growth of the self is progress, it is not necessarily linear. It is not always like a ladder
with separate rungs; it is more like a painting in process - attention to separate areas results in a unified whole.
Therefore, while work with a young resident might be very basic and mundane in most areas, there can be receptivity
to very advanced teaching in other areas.
The family context begins with inclusion and provides
the most basic of needs: belonging. This is done by the general attitude of the home: everything is family
oriented. Children receive a room and a physical space in the home. They receive jobs which affect everyone and
on which everyone depends. The care of our many farm animals is important here. Daily family activities, family-style
meals and weekly family meetings set the tone. Affection is shared, feelings are expressed and problems are confronted,
all in the context of a struggling family.
School is an integral part of the treatment focus.
Treatment team members work with teachers in the school setting to optimize the self-discovery process. Treatment
is fostered in the school setting by the reduction of competitive anxiety. Success can be realized in the effort,
not necessarily in the result. Encouragement to expand limits of understanding is the foundation.
Gaps created by the loss of natural or foster parents,
must be dealt with. As new ties are developed, several adults are available, both as healthy role models and to
listen and facilitate the grieving process which these children often go through.
The elusive area of understanding self, both from
within and also in nature, can take very concrete forms. Jasper Mountain is a wondrous slice of Oregon's natural
beauty. Group nature hikes in all seasons are common. The presence of farm animals makes birth and death natural
occurrences. Respect for life in nature, animals and other family members, is the rule.
From day to day, Jasper Mountain looks more like
a working family farm than a therapeutic program for children. It is both. Our hope is not to simulate a family,
but to actually be one. Our effectiveness in graduating children who feel whole again will show how successful
we have been.
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